My wife and I were walking into Target today when we were overwhelmed with a foul odor in the cart area.

I’ll try to describe the smell. If you birthed, raised, and slaughtered a dozen pigs in your basement, then for the first time cleaned that basement and fed the wash water to an elephant and waited for that elephant to eliminate and smelled his dung, you’d have some idea of what this odor was like.

I complained that I had planned to hit the restroom but didn’t want to because of the “situation” and this is the dialog that followed:

My wife said, “go ahead, it might just be the Pizza Hut [express].”

My reply, “do you realize what you just said?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Yeah’ indeed”

The most confusing part about this whole (true) story, is that we actually like pizza hut. This brings me to something else: pizza company names.

What’s the deal with all the Pizza [structure] places around here? We recently brainstormed a list of possible names, which I cross-referenced to see which ones actually existed. This was actually a travel game where we took turns coming up with another place.

For those keeping score at home, that’s a 53% hit rate. Considering some of the ridiculous names on there, I’d say that’s not bad. Let’s branch out a little, ok?